pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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