But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize