I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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