it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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