how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
