saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
