cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
