okay pat passed out under dana's car
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
