drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
