A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Randomize