Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
