Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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