he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if only i could text you this smell
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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