I am in a vortex of obligation.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize