things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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