I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
