Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
