: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
