im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
