Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
