I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
