it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
