I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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