How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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