Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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