batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
