So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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