Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
