But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
we're making bets on your personal life
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
