oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize