Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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