Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
