He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
