I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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