I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
