If i come over, it means nothing
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i wish my penis had a tongue
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
