Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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