Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
