Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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