would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize