He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
