This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have fence marks all over my body
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
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