Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
