A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
