He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize