so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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