GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
