whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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