she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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