I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
