it hurts more in the daytime
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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