WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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