I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
