guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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