birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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