those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
