Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
