I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
