So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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