I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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