theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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