Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Holy sore nipples Batman
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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