Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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