And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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